The trip starts at the First Water trailhead, which is located on the north side of the preserve, off the Apache Trail east of Apache Junction. Unlike the more heavily trampled trails in the Supes Peralta, Hieroglyphic, Black Mesa, Dutchman's the 12-mile round trip to Black Top Mesa is for loners. While the strenuous jaunt is not an "official" Bureau of Land Management/Tonto National Forest route, it's the best trek we've come across in our many years of meandering through the Valley and surrounding areas. If you've ever daydreamed about lying naked 'neath a clear, blue sky, this hike's for you. It's like getting a normal hotel rate with one of the best rounds of golf thrown in for free. The best deal, though, is to make a weekend of it, with two nights at the casino hotel and two rounds of golf for $89 per night per person. A round of golf will cost you only $45 if you walk, $55 if you want a cart, which is probably the best way to go. From the black tees, at 7,500 yards, the course can simply wear down most any golfer not at the top of his game. Amid stunning scenery, Apache Stronghold offers a ridiculous array of risk-reward scenarios. For golfers, the fact that this amazing course has low overhead and can be a loss leader to draw people to the casino makes it one of the great golf values in the state. They already owned the prime piece of landscape and, besides, they could always depend on a flow of golfers thanks to the dependable flow of gamblers making the drive to the nearby casino. The San Carlos Apache Tribe had several advantages when they went about building one of the state's great courses. And like golf, the pretenders will fade with the fading light on Friday, and the real players, the really fun folks to watch, will be charging for the title as Sunday draws to a close. It is skin-deep golf, played beyond the boundaries of golf. Overheated, overstated, underdressed, overeducated at institutions where beauty understudied because it could because it was beautiful. Now, it's whatever cover band can play "What I Like About You." What the hell has happened to us!?! Oh, settle. Bob Hope played this room, for God's sake. Back when the Goldwaters were working this thing, it was a classy back-room affair. The Bird's Nest is back at the course! Hooray for faux-batshit-crazy-crazy-dude-fun-dude! But holy shit.
Usually, in the bar, they can't see each other the over-globbing glazing of the hair, the boobs that don't flex against spandex (PING G2 titanium implants, perhaps?), the baggy eyes from working every night to pay for the Miata in the parking lot that looks like a Z4 if you park it back there under the streetlight that's burned out. The fun here is watching Scottsdale's finest show up and try to mate in daylight. Because, you know, they're really into great golf.
Without the top golfers, the goobers who make the Phoenix Open the greatest people-watching event in the Valley wouldn't show up. PHOENIX OPEN! PHOENIX OPEN! Doesn't that feel good? Yes, thank you, FBR, whatever the hell it is you do, for providing the big bucks necessary to keep the top golfers coming here.